on why language isn't leaving me, and why i cannot be silenced

2000-07-15

i used to have demons in my room at night..desire...despair...desire...so many monsters...

devout annie lennox fans will instantly brand me a plagiarist by opening this entry with lyrics from "no more i love yous" and of course while they are gritting their teeth and frothing their mouth, i will be smugly sitting in front of my computer, doing things of great import such as downloading porn. just kidding.

i just cant get enough of this song. i love this song. i have listened to this song repeatedly [i left the cd at home] and never had a barfing tendency. and i am very grateful to shelley for sending me the mp3 while we were chatting online earlier . she told me that she can be my technowhore and proudly beamed over the fact that she can locate even the most obscure mp3s on the net. and she did. i was looking for sounds by sugar hiccups, enya, tangerine dream, mike oldfield, vangelis and ennio morricone to work on for a project i am currently overseeing and since i'm such a retard on the technical side of everything i will unbashfully confess that i was totally clueless where to find them. shelley to the rescue. she gave me the soundclips i needed plus of course two annie lennox favorites, "song for a vampire" and "no more i love yous".

why is this song beautiful? i can think of several reasons: haunting musical quality, candid/honest/brooding lyrics, unchaotic layerings, neat arrangement/instrumentations and the inarguable trademark of the diva whose most recent release is "peace" for the duo, eurythmics.

and it really boggles me when people don't dig this song. yes, i am a firm believer of subjectivity in taste, but what is really annoying is when you listen to stuffs like 'no more i love yous', having a blast of your life and people such as your colleagues look at you in the same facial expression they sport when they are about to dial either the police or the psychiatric ward hotline.

exhibit conversation:

me: *listeningtoannielennoxflailinglikeanepilepticinpurebliss*

colleague1: what's that sound?

me: uh, "no more i love yous" by annie lennox.

colleague2: annie who?

me: *lookingatthemindisbelief* ANNIE THE DIVA LENNOX. strikes a bell?

both: *staresblankly*

me: it's great! *singsalongatthetopofmylungs* ssssssssoooo manyyyyyyy monsters!!!

colleague1: how do you dial 911?

coleague2: you press, uh, 9, ummm

colleague1: then?

there you have it. i suspect if the parents of these people knew these snots will grow up to be twenty six year-olds and listen to britney spears and westlife they [the parents] would probably have a pet goldfish instead.

take the lines: no more i love yous.. language is leaving me...no more i love yous.. language is leaving me in silence....

while i feel very good singing that part, my colleagues are haplessly figuring out how to get me into therapy.

i have doubts they need it more than i do. after all i'm NOT the one who is a britney fan.

my brother joe was so inspired by my jerry maguire entry that he made his own pick on poignant celluloids that make people tick in his recent journal. i deeply agree with him on the "american beauty" bit. that movie is a splendid celebration of dysfunctional families that are alarmingly rising everywhere. but i will differ with him on the "city of angels" bit. i am a nicolas cage fan, but in that movie he isn't effective. he don't look like an angel; he looks like a despondent assassin looking for a mail-order bride in libraries.

and yeah, for an angel he surely have a thinning hair and a lousy fashion consultant.